Vanessa Cecatini

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

Tonight I listened to a voicemail you left me three months ago.
In it, you told me to go fuck myself.
I still remember that night.
I still remember those words rolling off your tongue so gracefully.
I remember wondering how someone so beautiful could be so cruel.

Two months ago I called you at three A.M.
I expected you to ignore it, or to send me to voicemail;
those were two of the things you were best at.
You answered and I felt my heart begin to race;
you probably thought it was because I missed you,
but truthfully it was because I didn’t expect you to answer,
and because I really had to pee.
I asked you how you were and you sat there quietly and confused.
It was like you forgot that I existed and that I was once a part of your life.
You told me “fine” and I smiled.
That was the last conversation we had.
I made sure to let go of you, and every negative word that was said, in a peaceful way.

Fast forward two months, and I still wonder how you are.
I still wonder how your dog is and if you’ve seen any good movies lately.
If you ever heard me say this, you’d probably blush like you used to whenever I said something sweet.
You’d probably think I think these things because I still love you, that I still want you.
But that is not the case.
You see, six months ago I was jumping through hoops to please you.
To make sure that you were happy before myself.
To make sure that I was the one causing your happiness.
But it is not six months ago.
It is now.
And now I simply remember you as a person I gave my soul to.
A person I told secrets to at 4am and fucked to feel a sense of closeness.
A person I loved, yes.
But it is not six months ago.
It is now, and now I miss you.
I miss the way you called randomly just to ask how my day was.
I miss the way you seemed to care, even if you didn’t.
I miss the friendship and the secrets and the stories.
And maybe one day things will be different.
Maybe you’ll call me on a Tuesday afternoon and ask how my day was.
These are the things I think about before my eyes slowly close and I am finally rewarded with sleep.
But for right now?
Go fuck yourself.

(via skinfilledthoughts)

Wow.

(via hell0alaska)

(via bellababie)

ka-hoo-na:

i wanna know you better than the back of my hand,  and what keeps you up at 2am.
i wanna know what song has been stuck in your head, and how you’d look in my bed.
i wanna know what words are on the tip of your tongue, and hear about your dreams, even when you have none.
i wanna know what brings tears to your eyes, and what your face would look like if i kissed the inside of your thighs.
i wanna know how you like your coffee in the morning, and how cute you look when you’re snoring.
i wanna know you better.
k.g.

ka-hoo-na:

i wanna know you better than the back of my hand,  and what keeps you up at 2am.

i wanna know what song has been stuck in your head, and how you’d look in my bed.

i wanna know what words are on the tip of your tongue, and hear about your dreams, even when you have none.

i wanna know what brings tears to your eyes, and what your face would look like if i kissed the inside of your thighs.

i wanna know how you like your coffee in the morning, and how cute you look when you’re snoring.

i wanna know you better.

k.g.

(via lilaclullaby)

“I love you” means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. “I love you” means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me.